Why Meditate

I meditated earlier today. It had been quite a long time since my last one. Maybe even close to a year. The idea to do one today came to me in a moment of feeling scattered and uncentered. My mind was vibrating at a different frequency to my body. It still is, actually. Which then begs the question, was the meditation worth it?

Yes, it was. For me, it does bring me closer together. It both tightens the screws and unrolls the sleeves. My body and mind receive a refresh of cooperation, and individually they become more at ease.

The well-feeling isn’t long lasting. Right now, I’m back to being more scattered and fuzzy and internally itchy and dry. But it’s probably because I’m out of practice. I used to meditate almost daily, I think. At least weekly. And it really did help. I remember it being a strong positive. I know I need to adapt my weekly life to incorporate such a thing again.

What actually is it though? What does it do? What is happening? Why does it help? How does it generate that better feeling?

It’s the pause. I think. It’s the break from everything, really. It’s the break from thinking. It’s the distance from vision. It’s the reducing of input. There’s such an overload in input, always. There’s a constant insertion of everything. Gorging on sights and sounds and foods and media and news and music and video and air and toxicity and emotion and relations and aaa. How could a pause from all those things every once and a while not be a great benefit?

How often do I feel my body? Truly. How often am I distant from it? How often am I all mind? How often am I outside of even that? Somewhere distant. Living inside a screen. Existing inside this very screen. Existing inside that one, too. And that one over there. Oh my, there are so many screens. So many places I exist which aren’t me.

Right now I am somewhere in between. My fingers are typing without my being there. But now I am there. I am feeling each and every one of these presses of the keyboard. I have made myself aware of this body. In merely saying what is happening. Saying brings attention. Writing brings attention. Writing is an externalisation of thought, and a spotlight for attention and awareness. I write therefore I see.

I exist in many places. But I am here. Perhaps I should stop existing everywhere else, and return to existing in this body that homes the deepest me.

[02.07.2022]